Time To Write

Time to write, right?

I would hope so, I mean what else am I going to do at three in the morning in the desert. Do you realize how beautiful the desert is? I mean in this dry and arid landscape there are so many plants and animals that not only survive but the strive. They grow and they prosper, in this land that seems so impossible. That is inspirational, even to me because I do believe that if these plants and animals can survive in these conditions then so can anyone else.

It's too early to be this late. I don't want to go to sleep, I don't want to go to sleep. I am not tired, I am far away from my loved ones, this alone time was necessary but i am using it to waste away.

I am using this time to waste away, I am wasting away, I let these distractions pull me in a thousand different directions, so instead of prospering in one direction, i do minimally well in several directions. I try many things, and never have the patience to perfect one thing. If I could work on something until I felt it was perfect and that I was an expert in that aspect I would be contented.

I worry that I will be forever discontented with the fact that I am drawn in so many directions. The things that stay permanent are the things that I do not have to work on, I have piercings, I have family, I have loved ones, and I don't work very hard on those relationships. Instead I let them go as they will without much of my own influence.